Alyssa's Nightmare: If you Give An Idiot a PS2
by SpazzyJuice
Summary: Read the adventure of two best friends as they are sucked into Clock Tower 3 and join Alyssa on her journey
1. Lavender You Fool

Hello all I have no idea what to say right now since this is the first thing in our series.

Disclamers: We don't own and think Clock Tower related, except our selves.

It was a dark and stormy night and two girls looked at the Playstation 2 perplexed.

"Damn Juicey you're Playstation blows" Retro spoke folding her arms. Juicey shrugged and leaned back into the couch. Juicey's father came in on the phone looking annoyed. Retro and Juicey looked at each other and nodded. "Joe" the spoke as Juicey poked her Playstation when lighting stuck it and Juicey. Retro went for her Fanta but got pulled into the magical vortex. "MY FAAAANNNNNTTTTAAAA"

Retro and Juicey sat on the edge of something rather like a cliff. Looking at each other they noticed that they looked remarkably different. Aside from being covered in soot and having their hair standing on end, Juicey's hair was still poofy but was now bright orange. She was wearing a Red Sox jersey and black jeans. Retro's hair was white with neon colored streaks and pulled into 2 high pigtails. She wore a bright tight bright pink halter t-shirt with a yellow tank top over it. Also she wore a bright orange mini skirt with rainbow tights. Both had bright blue eyes. Under Juicey's left eye were 2 small blue stars, and next two Retro's right eye were 2 small pink hearts.

"What the fuck just happened??" Demanded Juicey. Suddenly piano music began and retro paled more than usual.

"I know where we are" she whispered

Cans began to move from behind them. They got up quickly and glared at the noise. "Alyssa" they both said gritting their teeth.

"We're doomed!" Juicey cried.

"Shut up you big baby" Retro said shoving Juicey slightly.

"Are you guys evil?" Alyssa spoke scared.

"Wow that's a new way to greet a person" Juicey said sighing sitting down.

"What happens if I say yes" Retro said grinning. Alyssa looked confused as smiled.

"My names Alyssa" Alyssa said giggling. The two best friends looked at each other and sighed heavily.

They walked along the path that look oh so familiar to the two girls. Alyssa was ranting on about this guy Denis she hasn't seen in a while. The two dragged along with dazed looks upon their faces.

"We're are you guys from?" Alyssa asked. They looked at each other.

"Hell" they responded grinning.

"That's nice" Alyssa said walking ahead of them. Juicey slapped her forehead, while Retro just shook her head.

"And you wanted to play Clock Tower" Retro said walking with Alyssa.

"It was that or listen to my dad talk to Joe!" Juicey said running up with them.

After a ghost who wanted her pen back so she could finish her suicide note, they came upon a tailors with a big blue sigil on it. Retro and Juicey looked at each other and sighed.

"Well lets go." said Alyssa.

They entered the house after Retro ran down the stairs and grabbed some lavender scented water which she handed to Alyssa..

After a minute or so Juicey grinned and whispered to Retro. "What's that smell?"

Retro giggled and replied "Lavender you fool." which sent them both into fits of giggles.

By this point Alyssa was halfway up the stairs. They quickly followed her. At the top of the stairs they came across 2 hallways.

"We should split up-" started Alyssa

"We'll take this one." said Retro and Juicey quickly pointing toward the first hallway.

Alyssa nodded hesitantly clearly confused and went down the other hall. Our heroes quickly ran into the room at the end of the hall, barricaded the room then waited. After a moment or two they heard 2 screams followed by creepy music.

"He...doesn't come in this room...right?" asked Juicey nervously.

"No. Not unless you knock over the _crash _vase..." suddenly the door flew open. A very large man in a mask stood there holding a giant sledgehammer. Juicey huddled beside the fire place. Retro pretended to cower next to her, however she knew of an evade point that she had never shown Juicey. With a mighty battle cry she pulled the poker out of the fire place and stabbed the hot end into the menaces face. As he screamed on the floor in pain, the two girls ran down the stairs and joined Alyssa behind a small purple curtain.

"So that's what it does…genius" Juicey said pondering. Alyssa was cowering in the corner.

"Alyssa were are you?" Sledgehammer spoke moving his head side to side. Retro and Juicey smirked at each other and picked Alyssa up and tossed her out.

"Alyssa your mine now" Sledgehammer said lifting up his weapon.

"I didn't do it they pushed me out!" Alyssa cried. Sledgehammer just realized something.

"Don't pay attention the trouble makers behind the see through curtain.

"Hmmmm all this time I could see her but I never noticed……" while Sledgehammer was ranting on about how he was a moron incapable of spotting someone through a see through curtain the 3 made their way to the Concert Hall.

"Thanks a lot guys you could have gotten me killed!" Alyssa said looking at us as we entered the concert room.

"That was the plan" Juicey said whispering to Retro as she took out the lavender water that was on one of the shelf things in the hall way. Alyssa put her hand out.

"What do you think your getting this? We need some to you can't hog it all" Retro said taking it away from Juicey.

"Yeah this one is going to have a conniption fit later on" Juicey said point to Retro recalling of when they needed the most lavender water.

"Whatever hey there is a girl over there" Alyssa pointed out.

"Go talk to her" Juicey said walking ahead of them.

"We're going behind this curtain" Retro said grinning both of them sprinting towards the stage curtain. Juicey looked at her watch and in 5 seconds Alyssa ran over out of breath using one of her lavender waters.

"Thanks for telling me about this!" Alyssa snapped.

"No problem!" the two screamed together.

"Stop! He'll hear you!" Alyssa said steamed.

"No he wont my preppy friend" Retro said smiling.

"Glitches rule!" Juicey yelled manly.

"Don't do that" Retro said patting her friends shoulder.


	2. RAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDYYYY!

A/N: HI! This is Retro! Normally these will be uploaded by Juicey as it's her account, but her internet has been wonky because, believe it or not, her house actually got struck by lightening, during the almost constant storms we've had here forthe last two weeks.

First of all, thanks sooo much to our one reveiwer, (the other one was me one my account) DarknessMistress. We didn't actually think anyone was going to read this, and are both very happy to know someone else found this funny. Also, Juicey would like to add that we had fully intended to mock Alyssa's speed.

Again, thank you to everyone who reads and enjoys these stories, and every reveiw is appreciated.

Disclaimer: All Clock Tower characters, items, and stages belong solely to Capcom. Juicey owns nothing, and I own myself and her.

"Glitch? What do you mean by glitch?" Alyss asked as she turned to Retro. "What on earth is she talking about?" Retro sighed.

"Well, you'd have to find out sooner or later. Alyssa, this is a video game."

"What? Th-that can't be! You're lying!"

"You're full name is Alyssa Hamilton, your mother is Nancy, and your father was Phillip, he is now deceased. He was killed by your grandfather Dick who has been missing for over three years. During this period of time, you have been living at a boarding school where your mother told you to stay for six years. You clearly didn't listen. Oh, and you were an ugly baby." Alyssa and Juicey stared at her for a moment in confusion. Suddenly Alyssa fell to herknees, cupped her hands over her ears and began screaming as hard as she could while shaking her head. Outside the curtain, poor Sledgehammer could not for the life of him figure out were the noise was coming from. After about fifteen minutes, Retro had ha enough, leaned down and slapped her hard. In the following silence, Juicey chose to voice her piece.

"Pickles!" Retro looked at her quite confused.

"Pickles?" She asked.

"Yup! Pickles! The pickles in my pocket!"

"Juice..._**why**_ do you have pickles in your pocket?"

"It's a magic pocket!"

"Yes Juicey but..pickles...pickles are wet!"

"They're in a jar!"

"You have a jar of pickles in your pocket?" Both girls turned to look at Alyssa who had finally spoken.

"Yes!" Juicey said happily producing said jar. "Y'want one? It's a Vlasic! The tastiest cruch I ever heard." This resulted in Alyssa laughing and Retro staring at her friend in horror. (A/N Retro: Sadly enough we did actually had this conversation on the phone cause Juicey is a idiot)

"Juicey! You did not just say that!" Juicey quickly pulled the lever and hauled ass toward the front hall already knowing the code. Retro grabbed the falling slip of paper and was right behind her, murder in her eyes. Alyssa stayed only long enough to push the lever back feeling it would be rude to leave it down, before quickly following them. Glitch or no glitch, she didnt want to be left alone. As Retro and Juicey ran past, Sledgehammer turned to face them.

"Alyssa!" he bellowed. They stopped and looked at him.

"Nooo..."

"Retro!" said Retro, excitedly striking a pose.

"Juicey!" She did the same but with much less energy. They then quickly ran off. Sledgehammer simply stared after them for a minute, weapon still held over his head. This gave Alyssa time to follow them out to where the lockers are. Retro was entering the code as she had gotten there first. Juicey turned to look at Alyssa. "God you're slow." This caused Alyssa to pout. Just at that moment, Retro popped the lock and grabbed the key. She grinned as she showed the "M" insignia on the top.

"Hey Juice, this must belong to King Mickey!" This sent them both into fits of giggles, each with a vision in their heads of Donald running in crying 'The king, the king!'. Alyssa fidgeted for a moment before shouting.

"We dont have time for this!" And right she was, for at that very moment they heard,

"Alyssa, where are you?" from around the corner. All three quickly ducked under the desk. They hid there untill the last strains of the stalker music faded away. They then returned to the room with the stage. From here they quickly unlocked the door which left them in a hallway. At each end was another door. Retro began to hyperventilate as they approached the double doors at one end. Juicey noticed and took the invisability band from Alyssa.

"Here. Try not to scream and meet us in the room with the lockers." She said handing it to her terrified friend.

"Thanks." She put it on just as they passed through the door. At that moment. Sledgehammer jumped down from the ceiling, scaring the shit out of Alyssa. As he raised his mighty hammer, intent upon ending their lives. Suddenly he felt a draft...a large draft. Alyssa and Juicey went into a fit of giggles.

"I've...been pantsed?" Sledgehammer said outloud to himself making himself sound more idiotic. Sledgehammer quickly covered himself up. "RANNNNNDDDDYYYY!!"

"Yes me the great and powerful RANDY!! Bwahahahahahahahah" Retro yelled with insanity as her invisability began to fade.

"Dude I would stop laughing" Juicey warned, but Retro still began to laugh with rage. "You're visable!!" Retro went silent. Then jetted to the lockers with Juicey and Alyssa right behind her.

"Must. Kill. RANNNDDDDYYYY!!" Sledgehammer cried with rage as he pulled up his pants and followed suit.


	3. She's In The Middle One Dumbass?

Disclaimer: Don't own Clock Tower blah blah blah and all that nonsense.

A/N: Yeah since we haven't updated in a while we decided to be extremely nice and finish Sledgehammer off all in one chapter so it's going to be long. )

"Can you two come with me?"Alyssa begged as the three reached the lockers. Retro and Juicey looked at each other and laughed. "What's so funny!?"

"Hello? We'd kill you!" Juicey said going into the left locker.

"Yeah. Hey wait a minute! Juice that's a good idea!" Retro said opening Juicey's locker. She sighed and slammed the door.

"What's the matter?" Alyssa asked concerned.

"Ah nothing Juicey just being Juicey"

"Which is?"

"She's sleeping you idiot!" Retro announced walking into her locker on the right. The double doors opened revealing Sledgehammer with his…Sledgehammer. "Get int the locker you idiot!" Retro ordered. Alyssa quickly got into the middle locker. Sledgehammer looked around confused.

"Where did she go?" Sledgehammer said looking around stupidly. There was a distant scribble coming from the right locker soon a piece of paper came out from the bottom. He picked it up and struggled to read the words.

"She's …in…the…m-mid-middle…one…dumb…ass. She's in the middle one dumbass? Who is oh magic giver of knowing stuff!" Sledgehammer looked around again. Another piece fell out he hestated to pick it up. "A…lyss…Alyss…Alyssa!! Alyssa…is…in…the…middle one!! Uh…the…middle…what?" At this point 

Retro gave a mighty sigh. She stepped out of the locker and rips open the one Alyssa was in. Then grabbed Juicey and took off through the other door, while he was distracted.

Later

Alyssa finally managed to get away saw Retro and Juicey sitting in the stands throwing anything they could find on the floor Alyssa marched up to them.

"Don't you know it's rude to throw stuff at dead people!?" Alyssa snapped. The two laughed.

"Please. She's dead! It's like it's not going to hurt her" Retro spoke picking up a soda can.

"And plus they are people's seats that's why I'm nagging you from over here" Alyssa continued.

"Score! Hey dude when you hit her she gets all pixely and what not" Juicey said ignoring Alyssa continued Alyssa completely. Retro got up as did Juicey heading for the other side through the seats of course. Alyssa slowly went around the seats like a 'good' person would. Through the other door was a hallway with two doors. Alyssa saw Juicey and Retro down at the other end Alyssa jogged down there but was stopped by Sledgehammer…again. Retro and Juicey took notice of this and went into the room with the matches. Retro picked up the matches and grinned. Juicey took the matches from her.

"No! No fire! Not yet anyway" Juicey said wagging her finger in a motherly fashion. Alyssa came in the room with Sledgehammer.

"Alysssssaaaa!! Wait. Randy?" Sledgehammer roared. Retro nodded. Sledgehammer lifted up his sledgehammer and aimed at Randy. Alyssa grabbed the violene case and tossed it at Sledgehammer.

"Wow. You missed. You suck!" Juicey said laughing. Then a bunch of suitcases fell ontop of him.

"That works too. Can we split now?" Retro asked pointing to the door.

"What's the rush?"

"I wanna see my favorite bad guys before this idiot over here gets game over"

"Fine lets run then" Juicey looked at Alyssa. "You can't run fast can you?" Juicey said smirking. Alyssa pouted and said,

"Can too! I bet I can run faster than you!" Retro and Juicey smirked at each other and ran like hell. Juicey and Retro stood near the lantern that needed to be lit.

"You had to give the matches to the slowpoke didn't you?" Retro said sitting on top of the balcony.

"What? I thought we weren't doing a pokemon series" Juicey said laying down. Retro turned around and pegged a sigil stone at her head causing it to fall through the holes.

"Now get it" Juicey sighed and jumped down grabbing the sigil stone then hitting the ground hard. "Ha! Juicey go boom!" Alyssa finally came out of breath handed the lavender water to Retro. "Well at least you had enough common sense to get it" Retro said holding the lavender water out.

"Oh I can have it!?" Alyssa said happily.

"No!" Juicey appeared in front of them grinning taking the lavender water and putting in the magic poket. "What are you grinning about?" Retro asked.

"Dude apparently when you die you see…"

"What?"

"Yaoi…lots of it" Retro blinked and jumped and screamed,

"I'm coming yaoi"

Juicey sighed and took the matches from Alyssa and lit the lantern. Retro came back holding a Sand Village head band. "Did you get anything?" Retro asked smirking Juicey nodded and pulled out Sportacus googles. "Trade?"

"Sure"

The two grinned madly laughing in delight at their new gear. Alyssa sighed as she walked along the board. Still confused about what this "yaoi"was. Almost falling several times she manages to get the pliers and walk back.

"All right lets go" Alyssa said walking ahead giving the pliers to Juicey.

"Wait!" Retro cried grabbing hold of Alyssa.

"What is it!?" Retro glared at her and pulled Juicey ahead across the balcony and through the door. Alyssa watched in horror as she was left alone. As soon as she stepped forward she saw true evil. It was a lovely lunar moth. Suddenly it emitted an ear peircing ring. As she covered her ears she became aware that she wasno longer alone. Sledgehammer stood there stupidly holding the hammer over his head. In a (breif)moment of brilliance, she pushed him over the edge and ran. (A/N Juicey: What. The. Hell. Was. That!? Retro: What? Juicey:She does not push him over the edge. She walks around. Retro: So? Juicey: Walks away Retro: Juicey! Don't leeeavve me!!) Alyssa ran out of the building stopping for a minute and the doors slammed open. "Why wont you die!" Alyssa said running away. Once she got to the house Retro stood inside waiting.

"Come on idiot Juicey is almost done"

"But he's chasing me!" Alyssa cried. Retro pushed her aside and waited for Sledghammer. He soon came through the door she leaned forward and a loud heart wrenching squeak came from Retro. Sledgehammer screamed like a girl and ran out.

"Holy Christ! What the fuck was that!?" cried Alyssa.

"Yeah that's the general reaction it gets" said Juicey as Retro finished cutting the wire because when Alyssa took over she took to long. Juicey grabbed the watch and the article and the arrow on the chair.

"Dude do we have to watch the cut scene. Too depressing" Juicey said opening the door.

"Well we can leave but I think Alyssa should stay. She'd learn something" Retro said.

"But I didn't learn anything"

"Juice you never learn anything"

"……Riiiiigh….t"

A minute later Alyssa came out in tears. "Oh my god how sad. That poor girl…"

"Yeah whatever" Juicey replied bored.

"Lets go" Retro ordered.

**Fight**

Sledgehammer was chasing Alyssa ever so slowly she still screamed.

"She's retarded" Retro said sighing. She looked over at Juicey and rolled her eyes Juicey was playing in the fountain. "Dude!!" Juicey turned around and grinned.

"Happy place!!"

"Indeed"

Alyssa began crying and dropped her arrow. Retro sighed.

"Juice grab the arrow. I'll distract him"

"But"

"Now"

Juice grabbed the arrow and took aim. Retro went behind Sledgehammer.

"Randy is back" Retro said smirking pulling down his pants. Juicey took her shot and delivered the final blow. Sledgehammer was now defeated.

"Can we go now!?" Juice whined. Retro nodded. Alyssa by now had went inside the concert hall. "Ooooo shinny" Juicey said picking up a heart shaped jewel thing.

"That's mine" Alyssa said taking the Clover of Courage. Juice grinned.

"What?" Retro asked.

**Back at Alyssa's**

"She got it working" Alyssa said shocked. Retro rolled her eyes as she as she saw Juice sitting on the floor singing along to the Lazy Town theme.


	4. It's a Boy Bear!

Disclaimer: We do not own anything other than our selves

A/N: WHO IS FUCKING EXCITED!? ME! THAT'S RIGHT ME JUICEY! CAUSE I FINALLY GOT MY INTERNET BACK AT 2 IN THE MORNING! TAKE THAT GEEK SQUAD!

As the girls lazed around Alyssa's room there was suddenly a rap at the window. Retro and Juicey looked at each other and sighed.

"Should we let him in?" Juice asked as she turned the t.v off.

"I dunno. I don't think the game will let us go on," Juice got up and tried to open the door. Nothing. "Alyssa let the Bidoof (A/N: Retro: most retarded looking pokemon ever) in!" Retro ordered.

"The what?" Alyssa asked confused.

"It's Dennis! Just let him in before he falls!" Juice said slapping her forehead

"Or not," Retro added from across the room.

Alyssa opened the window letting the red headed boy in. They continued arguing about why he's here. Juicey turned on the t.v.

"Don't pull the rope Moe!" Juice cried about the orange Doodlebop hugging the t.v. Retro meanwhile, was going through Alyssa drawers looking for stuff to steal.

"Hi Alyssa! Wow, I haven't seen you since we were in primary school together. That must have been, what, 3 years ago! You've grown up since then. Do you like cupcakes? I love cupcakes! Also, I could never figure out, are you a blonde or a red head? And-"

"Get on with it! Give her the damn key!" Retro cried as she pocketed a couple of dollars.

"Oh! Right. Here" he handed her a small gold key.

"This is the key to my grandfathers room! My mum always keeps this with her. Where did you get it!? You saw her! Where is she!? I've got to find her!"

"She was in her car!"

"Maybe she left some clues for me! I've got to check my grandfather's room."

"Well, let me help!"

"Fine! You search up stairs, and I'll search down stairs" knowing what was coming Retro and Juice decided to wait outside. Dennis ran pass them looking back and crashing into the wall.

"Stupid Bidoof! Get back in your poke ball!" Juicey said tossing a poke ball at his head. He stared at them. Then Alyssa came out and he ran again.

"Okay lets go to Dick's room!" Juicey laughed.

"Juice. Don't you shop at Dick's?" Retro asked chuckling.

"Yup!" Juice said grinning wearing a bright orange hunting hoody.

"Right…let's just go then" said Alyssa very confused. So they went. After a few minutes of looking, Retro looked up in horror.

"What's wrong!" cried Juicey.

"My monologue senses are tingling!" they watched in terror as Alyssa picked up a large book off the shelf.

"Don't touch that!" Juice said grabbing the book.

"Burn that piece of shit!" Retro said taking out the matches.

"Don't!"

Game Over

"Nice" Juice said.

"Gah! Everything is black!" Alyssa screamed.

"The book go boom!" Retro cheered. Suddenly! They found themselves back in the room.

"Here! Read this" Juice handed her a note. She read it out loud.

"Dude. Your like, a rooder and you totally have to defeat these like, subordinates, who totally work for these entity dudes. Oh yeah, they have your mom. Also, don't tell anyone, but your grandad is like totally the bad guy. K thx bai."

"Did it work?"

"Lets see!" they burned the book again using Retro's never ending supply of matches. "No game over!"

"Sweet!"

"Lets go to my mom's room" Alyssa said trying to open the door. "I can't get out!"

"You haven't learned anything have you?" Juice asked getting the keys from behind the picture. "Now open the door. And I'm dumb"

"It's true" So they went up. While Alyssa was fucking with the clock, Retro had hacked her mom's password and were now online. They were at .

"Oh my god!!" Juice cried.

"Those bastards! Another year!" Retro snapped.

"Damn you Warner Bros!" It's true! They had just discovered that Harry Potter 6 wouldn't be out until next summer.

"Warner what?" Asked finished doing the clock.

"Just shut it" Juice growled destroying the computer.

"Dude!" Retro complained.

"Sorry" They went through the now open secret door.

"Hey! It's a portal square!" said Juices as Retro began stealing spell books.

"Where? I don't see any squares. Not even a rectangle…" said a very confused Alyssa.

"It's a circle…" Juice said drifting off.

"Don't you know you shapes" Retro said smirking.

"But it's called a portal square" Alyssa argued.

"Duh!" Retro poured Alyssa's supply of hold water on the "square" and they transported to the 1940's.

"Where did you…when…how did you get that!?" asked Alyssa as Retro returned the bottle to her.

"I am ninja!"

"Gah! It's raining! My hair!" Alyssa cried.

"Oh wah your needs" Juice said filling up the container.

"But!? My clothes aren't water proof!"

Juice stood there eye twitching.

"What?"

"You're fucking dead!" Juice said chasing Alyssa around the fountain. Meanwhile, Retro picked up the lavender water and the invisibility band.

"Come on! Lets go beat this absurdly short level full of backtracking!…And Dennis!"

They walked down the alleyway.

"Ooooo teddy!" Retro said squeezing the bear.

"No we have to return that" Alyssa said attempting to take away the teddy.

"MY TEDDY!!" cried Retro scaring Alyssa away from her. "Good"

"No…it belongs to the kid in the trunk of that car" Juice said pointing to the car.

"But..But Juiceeey!!"

"Put it in the box."

"Okay!" "I miss teddy… So I'm gonna draw it see!" Retro tried to take the bear back, but the ghost returned so she put it back. "…Teddy…WAHHHHHHH" Juice grabbed the bear and nothing happened, so she gave it to Retro. "I'm gonna call you Susan!"

"It's a girl bear?" Alyssa asked.

"Nope! It's a boy bear!"


	5. Oh My God! It's A Fat Guy!

Sorry that the updates haven't been a frequently as we thought. We've have learned something dreadful…I LOST THE NOTEBOOK!!!!!!! I have no idea were it is. It's not in my book bag or Retro's. I don't believe that it's at her house either. Possible could be in my room… And we got so far to we got about half way through Chopper. And what I have on the computer is only 1/3 of Corroder believe it or not. I'M SO PO'd RIGHT NOW! Wait…I was just going through my book bag to get another notebook (we are doing a Bully one as well) and I found IT! YAY! Guess where it was…in my book bag ^-^

Inside the house

They had just triggered a cut scene. "AH!GET OFF ME! Can't you see!?" Alyssa cried.

"Uh actually…he can't" Juice said puling Alyssa away.

"Hey Albert have you seen Susan!? He's awesome!" Retro said happily.

"He can't see you jackass"

"Oh yeah!" After ringing his bell in confusion, he ran off and the bell sound faded till there was silence again. They went back around the corner and down a mini hallway leading into…another cut scene!!

"Oh son of a bitch!" Juice snapped.

"Juice calm down. A PS2 controller appeared in front of Juice.

"Skip this shit" Juice said pressing down the triangle button.

"But! Dorothy!!"

**Game Over**

"God damn it Juice! You can only skip in a replay game! You know that!"

"Sorry"

3 minutes later

"You know what. I'll stay here" Juice said sitting firmly on the floor.

"Why doesn't the bad guy come yet?" Alyssa asked. Juice and Retro began to laugh.

"What are you nuts?!" Juice said

""He come at the end of the level"

"Really? He must be really hard then" they laughed again.

"Yeah. Kay" Retro said laughing.

After all the backtracking

The made it to Dick's room. "Damn monologs" Retro cursed.

"Got your mp3 player?(cause we're too poor to afford and iPod)" Juicey asked.

"Yup" The two started dancing to Tarzan and Jane by ToyBox. Meanwhile, Alyssa learned more about her family history.

"Guys…AH!" Alyssa said backing away.

"Like them?" Retro asked lifting up her Sweet Tooth mask.

"Aren't they awesome!?" Juice said showing her Calypso mask.

"Dunno why there here, but it's soo cool!"

"Maybe the game is telling us to write a Twisted Metal story as well"

"Dude. We already have this one, Bully, starting an Inuyasha one and now you want to start a Twisted Metal one!? Sounds cool!"

"You two…your idiots…aren't you?" Alyssa said slowly. Retro got pissed.

"Juicey maybe. I happen to be a genius!!!"

"That's why your obsessed with Susan!"

"eave Susan alone!"

"Alyssa fetch the film god damn it!" Juice ordered sitting in Dick's chair.

"Look at it!" Retro said shoving a piece of paper into Juicey's face.

"What!?"

"It's Susan and me. See there's us sitting on the ground and Alyssa burning in front of us and you holding a bucket of gasoline!"

"…Yeah…"

"Isn't it pretty? TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!!!!"

"It's…pretty…"

"Teehee awesome!" Retro started drawing another picture and Juice began pulling pages out of History books.

"This never happened, and this never happened and this and this. This happened! This never happened…"

"Now look at it! It's Dennis being hanged!" Retro said happily.

"Uh…nice…you know I bet Alyssa would. Love those"

"Like World War 2!"

Back in the uh past…yeah past

They brought the film back to the dead guy, then found the switch, went inside the house, and another damn cut scene was activated. Retro, Juicey, and Alyssa stood in one corner as Albert gave Dorothy that ugly ass shawl. Shortly before Corroder entered, Retro pulled the other two under a table. Juicey looked at her confused. "Do you want to get splashed by that shit!?" Retro asked.

"But you know as soon as I hit the floor I'll-zzzzz"

"God damn it! Alyssa pass me that pipe"

"Why?" Alyssa asked slowly handing her the pipe.

"To wake her up duh!"

"With a pipe!?"

"Yup" she brought the pipe as high over her head as she could considering their current local of "under the tableville" and brought it down, hard, into Juicey's thigh. Juicey's eyes opened up slowly.

"What?" Juice asked annoyed.

"That didn't hurt?" Alyssa asked

"Was it supposed to?

"There she is!" Corroder's voice screamed.

"Retro. Juice. Was that you guys?"

"Does it look like I'm talking?" Retro said. Juice rolled out and grabbed the shiny bottle off the other table. At the moment he tried the spray her she flung that she like a football, hitting the nozzle and setting him on fire.

"Eh? Dude?" cried Retro.

"What?!" Juice snapped.

"There is a sudden force pushing me!" They left the room.

"Now what do we have to do?" asked Alyssa.

"We have to go back in" Retro said.

"There is a key that I always forget several times" Juice said sighing.

"Seriously?" Alyssa asked.

"Seriously" Retro answered.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh my-"

"Just go in god damn it!" they got the key and began backtracking. Again. When they were about to turn a corner…

"There she is! Er…there they are…HERE'S THE ACID!!!" So they turned and ran back into the alley and hid in the El Banyo (Bathroom and if that's spelled wrong sorry I took Italian and Retro never paid attention in Spanish)

"Why is that Spanish?" asked Alyssa confused.

"Cuz it is!"

"Ooo a swirly!" Juice said distracted looking at the green light on the door.

"No don't push-oh yeah do it! Do it!" Retro cheered.

"Don't open the door can't you hear him banging on the door!?" Alyssa panicked. Juice charged into the door and the others ran out behind. The door began to close and there was Corroder squished and then collapsed on the floor. They all laughed their asses off.

"All right. Lets go get that wrench" so they ran upstairs got the wrench and came back down.

"Wow he hasn't been here for a while" Alyssa noticed. The two began to laughed. They went upstairs outside which triggered another chase.

"Gimme the wrench! Gimme the wrench!!" cried Juice as they got to the end. She quickly shut off the fan which Retro led the way under.

"Okay we're good right?" Alyssa asked.

"No of course not!" Juice said.

"HAHAHAHA" Retro laughed. "In the red door!" they ran down the stairs and into a second door at the bottom. "Oooh! Juicey! I wannna zap him I wanna zap him!!"

"Can you reach?" Juice said smirking. Retro growled and got on Juicey's shoulders.

"Now I can!" Corroder ran in and stepped on the water. Chuckling like mad, Retro pulled the switch sending 5,000 volts through him. "Fireworks! Zap zap zap!"

"Esplosion? No, no splosion" Juice said disappointed. They walked out of the room Retro still on Juice's shoulders. "Will you get off!?"

"Nope! It's comfy!" they came to the area of the ledge. "J-Juice! There are bugs on that wall!!"

"Alyssa. Go get the shawl and come around back. We'll wait for you where you get out" Juice ordered.

"Okay promise that he isn't going to catch me?"

"Yes just go" Alyssa began to walk across. "Well I'm in the mood for a swim. Tata"

"Wait Juice!" Juice dropped Retro who gabbed the edge so as not to fall in the water. "Were in the fucking sewers dumbass! Your gonna get like, AIDS!!!"

Juice stopped in mid dive. "Oh right. Hurry your ass you Alyssa!!!!"

"What? AH! _Splash" _

"That just made my day!" Retro giggled. So Alyssa swam back, went across, then started back the other way.

"Kay. Lets go to the beginning and meet her" they dodged the red ghost. Alyssa was out of breath. "Now it's the boss fight" Retro said grabbing a steel pipe.

"Wow that was fast!" Alyssa noticed dodging several whacks from Corroder.

"Did…did she just run on the wall!?" demanded Juicey.

"Spiderman, Spiderman does whatever a spider can. Slings a web any size, h-"

"Enough!"

Fight

Alyssa was struggling, while Juice and Retro sat there bored dodging the acid every time Corroder missed. "Ooooh. Bigshot Juicey. I still remember when I had to do this fight for you"

"Well yeah but who beats the grandfather every time"

"Whatever"

"Ah! Guys! Help!" Alyssa cried out of breath.

"Nah. I'm good. You good?" Juice asked Retro.

"I'm good…wait, fuck. She's about to die hold on" Retro stood and stole Alyssa's bow and 5 arrows. "Hey asshole! Hold still!" she shot one charged arrow that went right through his head pinning him in a rather uncomfortable position. She rapid fired the other four. "Done"

"Son of a bitch" Alyssa cursed. Juice and Retro stared at her in awe.

"Dude"

"What?"

"No way!"

"You swored" Juice was growing impatient and started heading for the fan Alyssa following. Retro making sure that they left. She bent down to Corroder and pulled down his pants. "RANDY STRIKES BACK!!!" and she ran to the fan. So they brought the shawl back and watched the lovey-dovey sentimental cut scene which caused Retro to throw up and Juice to feel queasy. Suddenly they found themselves back in the entry way of Alyssa's house.

"Oh my god! It's a fat guy!" cried Juicey in horror.


	6. Everyone Knows Joe!

"I know him! He was here earlier!" said a very confused Alyssa. He then went on some rant about how she may have defeated two subordinates but she wouldn't get away blah blah blah. When he was finished the house under went an odd transformation into Burroughs mansion. The girls found themselves flying o a giant spinning clock.

"Oh this can't end well" Juice said

"Duck!" they passed through a wall and were suddenly outside, hundreds of feet up.

"Dude!" cried Retro standing and staring over the side. "Hai w-we could die. This is amazing!"

"This is fun!" laughed Alyssa standing in the middle. Juicey stayed firmly planted on her bottom. There was a sudden jerk as it turned sideways dumping them on the roof of the tower.

"Ouch" said Juicey pathetically. The fat man appeared and grabbed Alyssa said some bullshit and dropped her.

"Should we go?" Juice asked.

"I dunno. Hey fat man! Do we jump or are you gonna to drop us as well?" Retro asked.

"Don't be rude" The fat man pushed them both off into the pit of dooooom…

"We just fell about 4 hundred feet and lived…HA! Fuck you Ms. Cortez! You and your damn physics!"

"Well at least you had a physics teacher. I never really had on except for Ms. Simon her and stupid Harry Potter self"

"Ms?"

"Indeed and she seriously looked like him"

"Oh the one who got the battery thrown at her?"

"Yeah"

"A battery!? That's cruel!" Alyssa spoke up.

"Yeah whatever she was a bitch. She got my friend suspended cause she though that a condom thrown at her was sexual harassment"

"That's sick"

"And Ms. Cortez failed everybody! I-ooooh. Shiny! Omg! Shiny over there. And- shiny over there! Dudes…this cave is shiny!" Retro spoke.

"How about we climb through this hole?"

"How about- shiny! And- shiny! Ok-shiny."

"What?

"How about no. And leave us. Okay?" Juice said sighing.

"Juicey can't fit through the hoooole…" Retro said hugging Susan.

"Juicey can fit through hooole douche" Juice said crawling through the hole. "Oooh man baby hardcore woooooo" Juice said on the other side. Retro crawled through it.

"Hello-o it's easy"

"Don't start talking prep now" Juice said getting irratated. Alyssa crawled through.

"I'm not talking like prep like whatever"

"Stop it!"

"Meow."

"Don't start this shit again then we get off track"

"Okay…We need to go in the fishy room!"

"Fishy room?" Alyssa asked confused.

"Yes well a fish, but it's like an eel really it's all long and what not" Juice said opening the fishy room door. "See uno fishio"

Retro grabbed the shiny and pulled Juice out with her. "Wait up guys!" Alyssa called. Walking across the little bridge like thing triggered a cut scene. Retro and Juicey hit the dirt as two hatchets flew out of nowhere. Suddenly a giggling tattooed albino flew out of nowhere kicking Alyssa in the head.

"Oh great" Juice started.

"The only evil dude in the game that's fast" Retro finished.

"And irritating" Juice added.

"What? He seems nice" Alyssa spoke up. The two looked at her shocked.

"He just threw hatchets at your head!" Juice said

"And you think he's nice!? Oh just you wait" Retro spoke grinning.

They ran into the uno fishio room and squeezed behind the fish tank. "You know, I'm still rather concerned about the fact that he doesn't see us back here...." said Juicey shaking her head at the still searching maniac.

"So...at least were not hiding in his own one room house." said Retro with a smirk.

"Alright lets split up." said Juicey as they left the fishio room.

"What!? Why?" cried Alyssa in dismay.

"Just cuz. I call B2!" said Juicey happily.

"Damn it! Ok...I'll take B1..." said Retro disappointed at the lack of setting people on fire on that floor. Juice and Retro went inside the elevator and waved bye as she was left alone. It stopped.

"Well. This is were I get off" Juice said walking out.

"God speed man" Retro said saluting Juice off as the doors closed.

With Alyssa

"Oh. I'm so afraid! Oooooo" Alyssa fainted as he panic meter was full.

With Juicey

"I'm just waiting for you Joe (A/N Juice: You see Joe is this really annoying person that calls my house and we think that Chopper is as annoying so yeah his name is Joe)" Juice said to her self. Chopper appeared.

"You know Joe!?" he asked leaning against the wall.

"Everyone knows Joe!"

"I know!"

"How!? You don't have a phone"

"No…he comes to my house!" Juice started to laugh her ass off.

"Don't laugh at my misery!" he threw the hatchet and she ran. She soon dived into a barrel.

"Oh nice trick. Hahahah"

_FWOOSH!_

"Burn baby burn DISCO INFERNO!" Juice sung as she got up from the barrel.

With Retro

"There is no fire here! So boring…" Retro said to herself.

_DUN DUN!_

"GAH! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK!?" Retro screamed. Chopper stood there and nodded.

With Alyssa…Again

She's still laying there in panic…

Anyway To Fight Number 1

"We still have no weapons. What's up with that!?" Retro snapped. As Alyssa was fighting for a while. Alyssa had struggled a bit and got hit. Retro took action and walked towards Chopper.

"Catch!" Chopper announced as he tossed his hatchet. Retro dodged the attack, but Juice noticed something and pulled Alyssa with her under the stairs. All you could see is a single piece of pink hair had been cut.

"Oh shit…" Juice spoke quietly.

"Why are we hiding?" Alyssa asked. Retro stared blankly at the tiny piece of hair at the floor. The look she shot at Chopper nearly made him shit him self. He began to back away as she started twitching and shaking. She threw both hands out to her sides and gun appeared in each. She shot them both into the air and energy bolts shot out.

"Okay" she said her voice slightly more manic than usual. "Now, you are sooo dead" Retro shot madly at Chopper. He dropped to the floor.

"Call her off! Call her off!" Alyssa said shaking Juice. A quick sand like material formed around her feet.

"Lemme go, lemme go! I'm! Not! Done! Shootin' him yet!"

5 Seconds Later

"Great a graveyard. Awesome" Retro said sarcastically.

"Finally the out side! And it's dark!" Juice spoke happily.

"Yeah but the people are already dead" said Retro shooting a headstone. "Hey cool! I get to carry these around?" a holster appeared around each other her thighs. She looked around at all the graves. "Hey Juice…"

"Yeah?"

"What do we do if there are zombies?"

"What?"

"Well where in a graveyard! This is where they live!"

"So?"

"Dude. I hate zombies!"

"Don't worry"

"Will you protect me?"

"You have energy guns!"

"Oh yeah…"

"Hey I just found Rooders!" Alyssa said worriedly.

"Oh so you found the oooooo's and the ahhhhh's" Retro said making hand motions.

"Yes…" Juice began walking to the left.

"Juice where are you going!?" Retro demanded.

"To the place were you can carry…ONE STONE AT A TIME!"

"But…there's 3 of us! Maybe we can each take 1"

"This game has been the same even since we've been here"

At The Place With The Stones

"Apparently these wont budge" Retro said her hair sticking on end. Alyssa looked at her confused as she held up the Sky Stone. "Where's Juice?" she looked in the Earth Stone room and saw Juice also with extremely poofy hair.

"Ow" Juice whimpered.

She went to get it again.

"Ow"

And again…

"Ow"

"Your and idiot!" said Retro grabbing her by her inhumanlypoofy hair.

"OW!"

Sorry for the long wait =]


	7. PANTS!

The two sat on the stairs waiting for Alyssa to finish that oh so annoying task. "You guys could of helped!" Alyssa bitched. Retro got up and got the Sun Disk.

"See. Helped" they went back to the main cemetery. "Great. Now we get to Harold's house"

"Who's Harold?" Alyssa asked.

"Chopper. Duh!" Retro said spraying the water on the 'square'.

"What! Were going to his house!? Why!?"

"Your mom is there. Now get in the square" Juice said dragging them both into the portal square…which is clearly a circle.

"Mum? Really?"

"Oh my god shut up!" they appeared in another section of the graveyard. They walked down the one path until they came to a cut scene.

"Bullshit. Bullshit blah blah blah just chase us already" Juice snapped. Once again a chase scene was activated. Alyssa began running where the lion heads were. "Ah nooo this way. Dud get the closet ready!"

"Will do" Retro said running inside the house. Chopper came up to the two of them.

"Could you give us a moment Harold" Juice said calmly. Chopper stood there confused, while Juice and Alyssa booked it.

"Why do they always fall for that!?" Alyssa said to her self.

"Just dumb I guess" they ran into his house and hid in his see through closet in his house. And he came into the room and walked right back out.

"Dumb…ass" Alyssa said slowly.

"You swored…again" Retro announced.

After The Lion Heads And Obtaining The Moon Disk And Going Into That Cave Thing…You Know What It's The Fight Now

"Oh before we begin this lovely battle this is for you" Chopper said handing Juice a huge yellow envelope.

"Huh?" Juice questioned opening the envelope. She soon got the feeling of evil over her and it wasn't from Chopper.

Juice,

Apparently you've met Harold. Here's a packet containing objective cases, grammar, SAT and Power of One Quizzes. Do. It. All…or you'll know what will happen.

Your Bringer Of Doom,

Chris

Retro snatched the paper away. "Hey! I'm your bring of doom who the fuck is this!?" Juice knew who this was. She began to shake violently. "Dude? You kay?" Juice turned to her.

"Oh. I'm. Just. GREAT!!! FEEL MY WRATH CHOPPER!!!" Juice screamed.

"Hey! I'm just the messenger!" Chopper said holding up his hatches.

"Fear my spirit grenades!!"

"OH SHIT!" Retro said dodging behind a tombstone with Alyssa. Everything went bright. After a couple a seconds the smoke died down and it was official Juice had gone super saiyan. Wait what's this Chopper managed to dodge the attack. "Hah! You missed" Alyssa quickly got into battle realizing she wasn't getting a chance to bound him. (A/N: We know how he is supposed to be defeated but we have a new method)

The three girls surrounded Chopper.

"You're so annoying" Retro growled holding up her guns.

"Kameh-" Juice started.

"This is the last one!" Alyssa said pulling back her arrows. Chopper laughed.

"You can't stop me" he announced standing on top of a tombstone. Juice was getting annoyed from the stalling and let out her final attack.

"Amehaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Juice was knocked over by a blob of red hair ran past her causing the blast to shoot upward. "Dude!"

"Can I pants him!? Please!!!" Leah screamed with delight holding Chopper firmly on the ground.

"Hell if you get the necklace piece from him you can have him" Retro said putting away her guns. Leah searched the man for the clover piece and tossed it over to him. "He's all yours" Leah grinned and continued her fan girl duties. Retro and Juice smirked at their great idea. Juice went to find a chair and rope. "Hey Alyssa have you see a fan girl violate someone?"

"What's a fan girl?" Alyssa asked. Juice arrived with the equipment.

"You'll see" They went after and tied her down the chair. Retro pulled out her guns to her head, while Juice held her hand up to her head as well. "Observe. Closely"

A Few Moments Later…

"Oh that doesn't go there! This is appalling!" Alyssa cried in fear.

"That made my day" Juice said smirking.

Back at the Clock Tower

"Dennis!" Alyssa cried with happiness. Juice and Retro waved their hands with "excitement". Then the Fat Man appeared. He started to go on some random speech.

"Its…its…its…a fat man!" Juice cried pointing her finger at him. With a wave of his hand the four appeared in a grassy area.

"Oh god you're here too!? Just fabulous!" Retro said walking through the tunnel. Juice pushed him to the ground a followed suit. Alyssa help Denis up and quickly caught up. They arrived at a hospital and Dennis's "sister" was out the window shouting for him.

"I thought she wasn't supposed to be back for another six months!" Alyssa said worriedly.

"Yeah actually listen to her for once will ya" Juice said. Dennis went running in. "All right…dumbass"

In The Hospital

Alyssa watched in happiness as Dennis and his "sister" reunited. But, it was soon stopped when a high pitched laughed. And it wasn't Retro.

"OMFG! Jemima!! YAYS!" Retro cried with happiness clapping while jumping up and down. While Retro was giggling with glee. Alyssa dodged Jemima any way she could, while Dennis got hit with a moving bed. Juice jogged next to the bed.

"Help me!" Dennis cried. Juice thought about it.

"Why would I want to do something like that?" Juice said smirking as she saw a guy in red jump on the bed. "AH! RALPH!" He turned to her. "…Hi…" he nodded and continued laughing with his sister. Retro and Juice stood there dumbfounded and there heads tilted to the sides. Jemima went on about Alyssa and creating a new entity and they disappeared. Alyssa was shocked and looked at the two girls for help.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! THEY HAVE DENNIS!" Alyssa cried. The two still stood there their heads still tilted. "Guys?"

"He's-" Retro started.

"Not-" Juice added.

"Wearing…"

"PANTS!" they cried with joy. Then glared at on another. "HE'S MINE!" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S YOURS!? HE'S MINE!" Alyssa sighed heavily.

At Chopper's House

"So…Harold what do you think of this wedding dress?!" Leah asked excitedly holding a rope that connected to a bucket of holy water above his head. He was tied in rope and had fear in his eyes that the holy water would drop any second. He nodded quickly. "Nah that's too girly. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?" she pulled the rope slightly, which made him cower in fear. "Just kidding! I love you!" she glomped him again. You could hear his cries of help, but little did he know…no one was going to answer him.

Remember every review is greatly appreciated =]


	8. The Return Of Susan The Boy Bear

**Retro: 0 Juice: 0**

"So what are we going to do guys?" Alyssa asked the girls, but failed to get a response. "Guys?"

"I've played the game first!" Retro argued. Juice couldn't come up with anything, until a smirk formed on her face.

"I'm the one that beat it!" Juice snapped.

"……It's my game!"

**Retro: 1 Juice: 0**

"I bet he likes…THE DARK!" Juice cried evilly. Retro whimpered and went in a corner with a flashlight. She rocked back and forth.

**Retro: 1 Juice: 1**

"Can we stop talking about the guy that is pantsless please?" Alyssa begged. The two looked at her with killer eyes.

"What are you insane!?" they cried.

"You two are about to make me insane…" she mumbled. Retro went up to her with the flashlight still on.

"Care to say that again?" Retro said twitching madly. She stood there. "I didn't hear you the first time. SPEAK UP!"

"You guys are making me…INSANE!" Alyssa screamed. "I haven't met anybody as childish as you. And you" she pointed to Juice. "You're just depressing" Juice sighed.

"Do I actually give off an emo vibe?" Juice asked.

"Yes" Retro said patting her back. Juice sighed and laid on one of the hospital beds. "Now you…" Retro walked towards Alyssa her flashlight pointed at her. "I am not childish! I just like child things…IT DOESN'T MAKE ME CHILDISH!" She turned to Juice. "Right?" Silence. "Damn it. Anyway Alyssa I want to make this as painful as possible" Retro let out her mighty battle cry and charged at Alyssa at full force.

Alyssa cowered in fear but felt nothing collide with her. Retro had tripped over her own feet. Juice woke from her 2 minute nap and went over to Retro and helped her up.

"Wow you didn't laugh this time Juice" Retro said grabbing her side. Juice eyes were half open and nodded. She took the flashlight and took the batteries out and handed it back to Retro.

"The light was annoying me" Juice said half awake and went back to the bed. Retro clinged onto the flashlight for dear life. She let out a ear piercing scream like the one that knocked back Sledgehammer.

After Obtaining the Looking Glass

"Sooo whose gonna go on what side?" Retro asked as she held the Looking Glass in her hand. Alyssa stood at the mirror and admired herself, until Ralph made his presence known in the mirror. Retro looked at Ralph then the mirror and back again. "Fuck" she walked through and grabbed Alyssa with her. Juice pumped her fist in the air.

**Retro: 1 Juice: 2**

With Retro

"I'll kill you!" Jemima cried as soon as they entered on her side. Retro and Jemima looked at each other. "Maybe not you…" Alyssa groaned as the two giggled and walked into a room and locked Alyssa out.

"That is so rude of them. I bet Juice is having a hard time!" Alyssa mumbled as she walked through the glass. "Juice?"

"I've got a present for you" Ralph said. Juice flinched. "What I got you these dolls" he held out 3 dolls. Juice squeed.

**Retro: 1 Juice: 3**

"Where did you get these!?" Juice cried with happiness and she held her Green Day plushies to her chest. Ralph shrugged.

"Killed a few people here a few there"

"In 5 minutes?"

"Nah I got these awhile ago" he finally noticed Alyssa there. He got his scissors ready. "HUZZAH!" Ralph cried chasing Alyssa onto Jemima side. Juice not wanting to be alone she followed. Alyssa finally knocked down the door that Retro closed and there was Retro and Jemima sitting there, talking and what not. Ralph and Juice stood at the door and cried.

"OH GOD THERE'S TWO OF THEM!" the girls giggled in response. After a couple of seconds Ralph regained his composure and handed Retro a bear. "I found this thought you might like it"

**Retro: 2 Juice 3**

"GAH! IT'S SUSAN! Juice! It's SUSAN! Oooo is that Tre?" Retro said happily as she jumped of the bed. Juice nodded. "I. Want. Him. NOW!" Juice sighed and handed over the doll. "Come on Juice take Billie and Mike so we can go frolic in some flowers!" Retro said grabbing Juice's wrist.

"But you hate flowers" Juice said.

"Oh yeah…lets frolic in blood Juice. Blood. AHAHAHAH!" Retro turned to Alyssa. "Yeah come get us when you get away from them by getting the keys. Come on Juice! Away!"

"That is such a turn on" Ralph said to him self.

**Retro: 3 Juice: 3**

Update With Chopper

"Chopper!" Leah yelled furiously at her fiancé out side the house. Chopper turned around slowly to meet the blue eyes that wanted to murder him and yet love him at the same time.

"Yes?" Chopper asked frightened at what she was holding in her right hand. Alyssa's bottle of Holy Water. "Wait. Where did you get that?" Leah giggled and pointed at Retro and Juice frolicking in the blood that Chopper had caused.

"Now tell me what I should do to you? You killed poor Albert!" (Yeah he's well was alive) Chopper looked around for an answer.

"Not spray me with that and continue on our lovely marriage plans?"

"I'll let it slide this time…Now let us return to our wonderful planning" She dragged Chopper into the house.

"Juice? You'd think that he'd be happy" Retro noticed as she laid in the blood.

"I think he's a bit too overwhelmed of the fact that someone likes him this much" Juice said reading the stupid book that her bringer of doom had ordered her to do.

"Well at least she isn't…her…" (A/N: Yeah Retro also knew this girl named Leah who was obsessed with Chopper as well so don't worry 123lealea it is not you) "Right Susan! Cause something would have to be done about that!"

With Alyssa

"Damn you Retro" Alyssa cried as she was being chased by Jemima with out her holy water. But apparently she was too dumb to climb inside the hole that connected to the room were she can't get in. So instead she kept hiding in the bathroom stall.

Remember every review is greatly accepted. =]


	9. DUN DUN!

The two waited for Alyssa drenched in blood and holding onto their plushies for dear life.

"What could be taking her so long? I mean how hard is it to get 3 keys from them two" Retro complained as she started pacing. Juice sighed and sat on a log.

"It's Alyssa we're talking about her not us. That dumbass is probably hiding in the bathrooms, lost all our damn stones. We told her were the keys were and how to get here. She just can't follow simple directions. More importantly you took her bottle away" Juice stated as she still had her nose in that book.

"Um Juice"

"Yo"

"We didn't tell her any of that…"

"Oh…well her loss then. She probably wasted those lavender waters on us too…"

"Actually…I sort of took them"

"…Nice!"

With Alyssa

"Come on! Give it up! This is the tenth time you've died and you still can't find the damn keys!" Ralph said sitting cross-legged on one of the beds. Alyssa was clearly out of breath and not willing to get up.

"I can't stop now…I have to save…Dennis…" Alyssa said slowly returning to her feet. Ralph chuckled.

"Why would you want to save that sorry excuse of cheap character development? I mean he's just there. Oh wait so are you. The only real weapon you have was that holy water. Now you're even more pathetic than usual!"

"Nuh uh! I have a bow and arrow!"

"Not right now dumbass, plus without your bottle you can't even summon it. Face it buddy you're screwed"

"I would have done just fine if these two didn't come along" Alyssa said finally admitting defeat.

"How about this we tell you were the keys are and the portal square are located and you tell me were those other two went"

"Deal"

In the somewhat fair trade they switched information and Ralph went happily on his way. "Oh and one more thing" Ralph said stopping in his tracks. Alyssa listened. "My sister is not easily won over by stupidity" he returned to finding Retro and Juice.

"Well damn" Alyssa said to her self as she went on the search to obtain the keys on Ralph's side.

Back With Retro and Juice

"Ooo look Juice! A treasure chest! How do we open it?" Retro said happily as she went behind the car Alyssa's mother was in.

"You have guns"

"Right! Totally forgot" Retro took aim and shot the lock open, crawled over the car and took the crap out of the chest. "Dude we can totally have that Death Eater party we wanted all we need is some fancy china dishes and what not" Another chest appeared under Juice.

"What up with this man?" Juice asked as she got off the chest. "Someone is watching us play through this game man…It's scaring me…" Retro shot open the chest.

"Dude"

"Yeah?"

"Let's party like fancy people!"

"Word!"

After Getting Dressed

"This wig is totally pissing me off" Juice said fixing her blonde wig that made he Lucius Malfoy appearance complete.

"I'm totally my mummy!" Retro said hugging her self in her Bellatrix dress. "Right Susan?"

"Right" a voice said behind them. Retro went wide eyed.

"Holy shit! You actually spoke!?"

"Nah. I just me"

"Huh?! I know it's you Susan! Juice this is the most unbelievable discovery!" holding Susan up to Juice's face.

"Dude" Juice said poking Retro with the snake cane.

"Yeah?"

"That's not Susan…"

"YOU'RE LYING!"

"NO! CAUSE THAT'S RALPH!"

"OH REALLY! HI RALPH!"

"HI!" Ralph yelled back.

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?" Retro asked Juice.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Juice yelled.

"NICE WIG!" Ralph said giving a thumbs up. Juice gave a thumbs up back.

Back In The Real World Around The Time Retro and Juice Had Got Sucked In

"Yeah…Joe. Joe…JOE SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR!" John (Juice's Dad) yelled as he got up from his chair. He sighed as Joe began to still talk so he hung up and threw the phone onto the table. He opened the door and 3 figures stood there. "What do you want?" There were 2 teenaged girls and a grown man standing at the door. The man turned around to the girls.

"Why are you following me!?" he snapped. They shrugged and made themselves welcome inside the house. "Nice digs"

"Yeah yeah Neon what are you doing here?" John asked as he sat back down on his chair.

"Well Mr here need to give Juice some papers and Sara saw him heading this way and we said why not and followed him here…Ooo dragon!" Neon said happily as she grabbed the red dragon off the couch. John sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Hey don't touch that!" John said looking over at the man (who we'll call Chris, you know Juice's bringer of doom) who got his hands on the Playstation controller.

"Dude…busy. Chill" Chris said leaning in on the T.V as Sara watched with amusement. Juice's mom came from down the stairs.

"What's all this?" Terry asked as she sat next to Neon on the love seat.

"Hi Juice's mom!" Neon said hugging Terry tightly. Terry smiled as Neon let go.

"John you didn't tell me that we had guests. This place is a pigs sty!"

"I didn't know it either" John said closing his eyes hopping that this was all a bad dream. The phone rang. "God damn it!" He went for the phone, but Chris got there before him.

"Yo. This is the Nana residence. Hold on" Chris handed the phone to John. "It's totally Joe"

"Why? Why me!? Yeah Joe…"

Back With Retro and Juice

"DUDE" Juice said

"YEAH?" Retro asked.

"I SENSE A DISTURBANCE!"

"WHAT IS IT!?"

"…JOE!"

"DUN DUN!"


	10. BLAH

"ARE YOU SURE THAT IT'S JOE? IT COULD BE SOMEONE ELSE LIKE…BOBBY. BOBBY IS PRETTY ANNOYING TOO. WITH HIS LITTLE HIDING SPOT ABOVE THE PIANO NOT JUMPING DOWN BECAUSE HE'S A DOUCHE AND THE ONE BEHIND THE CURTAIN. BASTARD GIVES ME HEART ATTACKS" Retro said thinking about that last statement that Joe was near.

"NO IT'S DEFIANTLY JOE. I'M ALSO GETTING THE VIBE THAT HE WANTS TO TELL STORIES" Juice argued.

"………YEAH" Retro nodded.

"WHO'S JOE?" Ralph asked.

"YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW"

With Alyssa

"Hehe. COME ON ALYSSA!" Jemima giggled as she had killed Alyssa for the 7th time.

"Can you give me a break?" Alyssa huffed as she wiped the dust from the floor off her skirt. Jemima laughed.

"Are you serious!? Actually I'm getting pretty bored of you. I'm going to find this Ann girl that Retro told me about. Apparently she dies quiet a lot like you. Except she dies more…creatively than you. Here's the key. Bye bye" Jemima teleported off to find the orphans that were about to be adopted…in September…

Flashback With Jemima and Retro

"Dude there is this girl Ann she is so worthless! She dies constantly!"

"Like Alyssa?"

"Yeah! Except this one gets stabbed through the ceiling, pushed out a window, gets pushed over a Clock Tower by some broad named Mary and she can't swim"

"What. Is she emo?"

"Apparently"

"Cool"

End

Alyssa sat down to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. "I'm so alone" she whispered. The purple ghost came through the wall and went for Alyssa. "Go ahead. Take me" the ghost backed off.

"Nah. I'm good" he left.

"Even the ghosts wont take me!"

In The Real World

Juice's mom had cooked them up something since Chris was complaining about an empty stomach. Juice's dad sat pissed off in his chair glaring at the closet in front of him.

"Chris I called you twenty times! You missed the meeting" a guy yelled as he stormed into the house. Juice's dad sulked in the chair even more.

"Can't you see that I'm very busy Mike. Look" Chris said pointing to the T.V of Alyssa climbing through the fire place to get the Holy Water bottle.

"Yes. Very"

"John" a distant cry of a old woman came from out side the front door. He sighed at got up from his chair.

"What ma?" he asked. He noticed that she was holding a pink leash. "Oh no. We aren't taking the dog"

"Kay thanks" she quickly opened the door and let the Boston Terrier in without hesitation. Then bolted for her daughters car. "Drive. Drive" she cried.

"Terry"

"Yes. What is it?" she handed Chris some Mac and Cheese. She soon felt something lick her leg. "God damn it"

With Ralph and Co. 

The three became bored so Retro and Juice decided to dress Ralph up and Voldemort.

"COOL. NOW WHAT?" Retro asked as kicked over tombstones.

"I DUNNO. WE ALREADY HAD A FANCY TEA PARTY" Juice said still hugging her Billie Joe plushie. Ralph suddenly had an idea.

"LET'S DRESS UP AGAIN!"

"TOTALLY"

They decided to do the game Bully. Ralph was Gord, while Retro was Gary. Juice on the other hand was someone no one knew.

"JUICE. WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?" Retro asked as she went over to Juice who had her backed turned. She pulled up her hood.

"I'M THE HOODED BANDIT!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

One of the window's of Harold's cabin flew open.

"WHY ARE YOU GUYS YELLING!?" Leah cried waving her arms furiously in the air.

"WE DON'T KNOW!" they responded.

"OKAY! HEY DO YOU GUYS WANT TO COME TO THE WEDDING?"

"…SURE"

"AWESOME" the window closed.

"How could someone-?" Juice asked.

"I don't know" Retro said holding her hand up to tell Juice to stop.

"Hey guys we should totally get back to the place were the Fat man goes to chant. Maybe Alyssa finally got the keys" Ralph said taking off his blue sweater vest.

"Hey she's probably there listening to the Fat man. Then we are going to pop up. She's gonna be like blah blah blah you guys left me alone blah blah died 17 times blah blah blah don't do that again blah blah give back the bottle blah you guys suck blah blah. Then she's going to stomp off and get chased by you" Juice said finally pointing to Ralph.

With Alyssa

"THERE YOU GUYS ARE! YOU GUYS LEFT ME ALONE BLAH BLAH BLAH DIES 17 TIMES BLAH BLAH BLAH DON'T DO THAT AGAIN BLAH BLAH GIVE THE BOTTLE BACK BLAH YOU GUYS SUCK BLAH BLAH" Alyssa stomped away. Juice looked at Retro.

"See"

Yeah we need to get back on track here. =] Review?


	11. Singing Montage Part 1 N'Sync

"All right guys which way do we go?" Alyssa asked as she looked back and forth to the two doors. "Guys?" Were Retro and Juice were standing went completely black. "Hello?"

"Dirty Pop" a voice sang. Alyssa looked on horrified as she saw Susan The Boy Bear on a turn table.

"Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about" Chopper sang as he walked towards Alyssa. She held up her empty bottle in defense. "What's the deal with this pop lifeand when is gonna fade out" He brought out his hatchets. "The thing you got to realizewhat we doing is not a trend. We got the gift of melody we gonna bring it till the end"

"What?" Alyssa backed up into someone. "Juice! The subordinates are back!"

"It doesn't matter 'bout the car I drive or what I wear around my neck" Juice sang.

"But your not wearing anything around your neck…"

"All that matters is that you recognize that it's just about respect" Juice jabbed her finger on Alyssa shoulder. "It doesn't matter about the clothes I wear and where I go and why"

"Okay just don't hurt me!"

"All that matters is that you get hyped and we'll do it to you every time. Come on now!" The spot lights went on to Retro, Sledgehammer and Corroder.

"Do you ever wonder why" Retro sang as she jumped on one of the statues.

"This music gets you high?" Sledgehammer bellowed as he punched his Sledgehammer into the air.

"It takes you on a ride" Corroder sang spraying his acid all around in a circle.

"Feel it when your body starts to rock" Chopper threw a hatchet at Alyssa who nearly dodged it.

"Your body starts to rock" Juice and Retro sang dancing madly.

"Baby you can't stop"

"You can't stop"

"And the music's all you got"

"Come on now"

"This must be, pop" Chopper threw his hands up in the air. Corroder and Sledgehammer pop balloons on both sides of Alyssa scaring her shitless. "Dirty pop baby you can't stopI know you like this dirty pop this must be-"

Juice shoved Alyssa to the ground. "Now, why you wanna try to classify the type of thingthat we do"

"No I'm not…"

"'Cause we're just fine doin what we like"

"I'm not stopping you…"

"Can we say the same for you?" The others grouped around the terrified Alyssa. "Tired of feelin all around me animosity"

"I'm sorry!"

"Just worry about yours 'cause I'ma get mine now people can't you see" Juice pulled everybody back and did a little dance.

Chopper broke out of the group. "It doesn't matter 'bout the car I drive or the ice around my neck"

"What ice?" Alyssa said slowly standing up.

"All that matters is that you recognize that it's just about respect" Chopper said putting his arm around Leah who some how just appeared. She squealed with happiness. "It doesn't matter about the clothes I wear and where I go and why"

"But you aren't wearing any-" Alyssa spoke before Leah knocked her out with a 2x4.

"All that matters is that you get hyped and we'll give it to you every time. Come on"

3 Chorus Later

In the end Chopper, Leah, Sledgehammer and Corroder disappeared and Susan went back to his old lifeless self. Alyssa awoke from her unconsciousness and wobbled over to the two girls and the boy bear.

"Susan! Wake up!" Retro cried.

"Dude relax…" Juice said bored.

"SUSAN!" Alyssa tapped them both on the shoulder. "Yo"

"What. The. Hell. Was that!?"

"What was what?"

"You guys broke into song!"

"Oh really! What did we sing!?"

"I don't know some type of boy band bleh"

"…Really?"

"Are you high?" Juice asked folding her arms. Alyssa sighed heavily.

"Anyway. Which way do we go?"

Retro and Juice held their hands up and figured out the direction they are going to go.

"To the left"

To The Left

Ralph appeared and began to chase them. They came to the evade point. Retro and Juice began to argue.

"You know that we are not totally gonna dodge him so he can fall" Retro said her hands on her hips.

"I know that so what are we gonna do?" Juice asked. Alyssa was being chased in circles.

"I totally got an idea!"

"Let me hear it"

"I'll kiss him so he can get distracted!"

"You!? I'm gonna kiss him!"

"HA! In your dreams!" Alyssa stopped as she noticed that the lighting dimmed.

"Oh no…" Alyssa whimpered. Retro appeared beside Ralph.

"You might've been hurt, babe that ain't no lie you've seen them all come and go, oh.." Retro sang happily walking Ralph away from Juice and Alyssa. Ralph was very very confused. "I remember you told me that it made you believe in no man, no cryMaybe that's why" Retro backed up a bit. Susan came back to life, Jemima teleported over and Leah came back and they all were her back up dancers. "Every little thing I do never seems enough for you, you don't wanna lose it again, but I'm not like them" Juice went over to Leah.

"Whose side are you on!?" Juice snapped. Leah shrugged and kept dancing.

"Baby, when you finally, get to love somebody guess what, it's gonna be me.."

"What's with the singing in this chapter?" Alyssa asked the readers of this fan fiction.

Juice pulled Ralph away from Retro. "You've got no choice, babe but to move on" she pointed to Retro. "And you know there ain't no time to waste you're just too blind" Chopper appeared. "Too see" Dante from DMC came. "But in the end, ya know it's gonna be me" And finally the Pokemon Spheal showed up bouncing around. "You can't deny so just tell me why" Another dance was done. "Every little thing I do never seems enough for you, you don't wanna lose it again but I'm not like them" she tilted her head towards Retro. "Baby, when you finally get to love somebody guess what"

"What?" Ralph asked perplexed. Juice leaned over to his ear.

"It's gonna be me" Retro stood in shock.

"That whore!" Retro yelled. "There comes a day when I'll be the one, you'll see..It's gonna"

"Gonna"

"Gonna"

"Gonna"

"Gonna" Susan turned around to face the reader with sunglasses on.

"It's gonna be me" the bear finished and returned to it old self. Retro got down on her knees.

"NOOOO SUSAN!" Retro cried. Her head snapped around to Juice. "You know your dead right?"

"Oh totally" Juice said grinning. Everyone had disappeared (Except for Alyssa and Ralph) still there was a blue thing bouncing around. Juice caught the Spheal. "OMG YOUR SO FUCKING CUTE!"

"Spheal!" it cried.

"I'm gonna call you Petey!"

"Juice?" Retro said smirking holding her guns at her.

"Oh right…"


	12. Sneek Peak Of The Sequel

What Is To Be Expected In The Sequel…

_Clock Tower 4: Alyssa's **Worst** Nightmare_

**Return of…Susan The Boy Bear!**

"What?" Neon asked as she caught her breath clutching her chest.

"I'm not going to tell you if you talk to me like that" Retro said folding her arms.

"What…your highness?"

"That's better. Here" she tossed Neon her bear. "Susan wants to go shopping"

**8 New Bad Guys!!**

Retro, Juicey, Neon, Rad, Pedophile, Pass Man, Dark Shroom, Box and Evil Chef

Wait! 9 Bad Guys!!!

**Neglectful Mothers!**

"What!? Are you nuts!? You're on your own! I've got a date with a vacation in Hawaii waiting for me! Good luck!"

"We'll I'll guess I'll have Dennis with me…"

**And Santa!**

Sarah stood up and sighed for a minute. "Chris found where Santa was. It's out side our lair" Chris shot up.

"It was you!" he yelled.

"Who else knows about Santa like the way I do"

**Coming Soon!**


	13. Singing Montage Part 2 Musicals

Ralph and Alyssa were playing Go Fish on the ledge as Retro chased Juicey around the small space trying to shoot her. After about 8 minutes however, Retro had an asthma attack. The albuterol she promptly overdosed on seemed to calm her down a bit.

"Let's….just…get the head….yea…" She panted leaning against the wall. Juice nodded and grabbed the letter from the janitor. Alyssa glanced at Ralph before pushing him off the ledge and jogging after them.

"You bitch!" cried Juicey royally pissed. The 3 of them quickly went over to the other door. Once inside they proceeded over to the broken wall that went out onto the ledge. They went over without complaint for once. However when it came time to go threw the window they encountered a problem…

"Juice…..Are you sure your ass can fit?" asked Retro in mock seriousness.

"Just shut up and go!" Juice growled pushing her through. Once they were in the kitchen Retro promptly checked the icebox.

"Duude! There's 1600's booze in here!" she cried holding it up just as Alyssa finished reading the paper and Jemima ran in.

"But.. We can't drink… were all underage…" said Alyssa. The other 3 girls stared at her. Suddenly old music started playing. "Oh no… not again!" Retro suddenly had a blonde wig on over her head.

"Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee

Lousy with virginity

Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed

I can't; I'm Sandra Dee"

"A-are you talking about me?"

"Watch it! Hey I'm Doris Day

I was not brought up that way

Won't come across,

Even Rock Hudson lost

His heart to Doris Day"

"Who are those people?" asked Alyssa astonished. Jemima and Juicey were now behind Retro also wearing blond wigs.

"I don't drink (no)

Or swear (no)

I don't rat my hair (eew)

I get ill from one cigarette

(cough, cough, cough)

Keep your filthy paws

Off my silky draws

Would you pull that crap with Annette?"

"Whose Annette?"

"As for you Troy Donahue,

I know what you wanna do

You got your crust

I'm no object of lust

I'm just plain Sandra Dee

Elvis, Elvis, let me be!

Keep that pelvis far from me!

Just keep your cool

Now your starting to drool

Hey Fongool, I'm Sandra Dee!"

"Are you making fun of me Retro?" Retro jerked off her wig and glared crossing her arms as the music jerked to a halt.

"Some people are so touchy!" "Now I'm bored. Juice-" The door busted open with Ralph getting ready to sing.

"Oh no. No. No!!!"

"I'm not wearing underwear today, no im not wearing underwear today. Not that you probably care. Much about my underwear, still none the less I gotta say. That im not wearing underwear today" Ralph sang. The four girls just stared at him shocked, confused, disturbed and bored. "What? No encore?"

"Bye Ralph" Jemima said pushing her brother out of the kitchen. "Now where were we?" Jemima started to chase Alyssa around her side of the area, while Retro and Juice chilled in the kitchen. Retro noticed something on the table she was sitting on.

"Hey Juice" Retro taunted. Juice looked over the door of the fridge.

"Yo" she responded.

"Look! It's a fork!"

"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!!!!" Retro pegged the fork at Juice causing Juice to crawl under a table.

"HA! Lame"

Oh Noes! Dennis Haz Being Tortured-ed

Alyssa had just watched the horrified scene from the projector. "Guys Dennis is in trouble!" Alyssa cried out to the two girls who were suddenly playing the game of Life.

"NOT AGAIN!" Juice screamed as she landed on another Twins space. Retro cried of laughter then became sad, since her car was completely empty besides her and her husband. The projector screen had turned all static and grey. Then appeared a living room full of people. "DAD!?" Juice ran up to the screen. "What the hell are all these people doing in my house!?"

"That's a rude way to greet a teacher of yours your totally failing the next vocab quiz" Chris said putting on his glasses and taking out his cell phone making a note of it. Mike turned his back to Chris.

"Mine's better…" Mike muttered to him self sitting on the floor pouting.

"Juice your mom makes awesome Mac and Cheese" Retro's stomach growled. But she soon grew a smile.

"HEY! My Fanta still there!" Retro said clapping her hands. Sarah soon spotted the soft drink on the table next to Chris. She slowly went for it, Retro's face soon showed fear. "No…NOOOOO!" Sarah slowly grabbed the cup and held it to her mouth. "PLEASE! NOT MY FANTA!" Soon it was all gone…"You'll regret that Sarah" Sarah stuck out her tongue. Retro noticed someone else appear on the screen. "Dude…Check it out…Box is totally in your house!" Retro pointed at the guy sitting next to Juice's mom. Juice glared at the T.V.

"EVERYONE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Juice screamed.

"I can hear the bells…" Alyssa sang. Retro glared at Alyssa.

"Don't you dare…" Retro warned.

"Well, don't cha hear them chime?"

"I think she's gone delusional" Juice said pointing to Alyssa who totally went goo goo eyes over Box.

"Can't 'cha feel my heartbeat keeping perfect time? And all because he…"

"I want to break your heart beat…" Retro mumbled.

"Touched me. He looked at me and stared, yes he bumped me. My heart was unprepared when he, tapped me and knocked me off my feet. One little touch. Now my life's complete 'cause when he…Nudged me love put me in a fix, yes it hit me Just like a ton of bricks. Yes my heart burst. Now I know what life's about. One little touch and love's knocked me out and…"

"He did none of those things!" Juice screamed.

"You're totally jealous" Chris said smirking. Juice pulled the plug of the projector and sat in the chair. Alyssa looked around confused.

"Where did he go?" Alyssa asked confused.

"You scared him off with your terrible singing. Now may we please continue. I need revenge…it was my Fanta…"


	14. I Have No Idea What To Call This Chapter

In The Hallway With The Timed Door

"All right we all go on through on 3" Juice said getting ready to run.

"Dude I think we should hold up the door for Alyssa. She can't keep up with us" Retro whisper to Juice.

"Are you insane?! That shit is heavy"

"Yeah but if we both lift it up we'll be fine…I think"

"Fine"

"Ready. 1...2...3!" Retro and Juice sprinted towards the door, while Alyssa meekly jogged behind. Juice and Retro were ready in place holding up the door. "You could run a little faster this door isn't light you know!"

"I'm running as fast as I can" Alyssa yelled as she just ran under the door and out the hallway.

"Juice…"

"Yes?"

"What about us?"

"Oh yeah…"

"On 3. 1...2..."

"Wait! Your 3 or my 3?"

"What?"

"I mean we're both counting at different speeds-"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! MY 3!"

"Okay…damn no need to yell…"

"I'M NOT YELLING!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"OH NOT AGAIN!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"WE'RE YELLING AGAIN!"

"OH SNAP!"

"ON 3 AGAIN. 1...2..."

"WAIT! I HAVE AN ITCH!" Juice began scratching at her leg with her foot.

"STOP STALLING!"

"I CAN'T HELP IT!"

"You guys!" Alyssa called out. "Where are you!?"

"ARGUING!!" they screamed.

"No need to shout!"

"WE AREN'T SHOUTING!" Retro clearly shouted. Alyssa stomped off in rage with her hands in the air.

"WAIT. ARE WE SHOUTING?" Juice asked. Retro kicked Juice and the two let go letting the door fall in front of them.

"YES. AND WE ARE GOING TO CONTINUE SHOUTING TILL ALYSSA FALLS DOWN THE HOLE!" They heard Alyssa's scream. "I THINK SHE FOUND THEM!" Jemima laughed. "YEAH" They then heard the floor crumble behind the door.

"I THINK SHE JUST FELL!"

"OH TOTALLY" They walked through the door way and saw Ralph and Jemima standing around the hole in the floor where Alyssa had just fallen through.

"YO!" Ralph and Jemima turned their attention to the two girls. Retro pulled out a deck of cards. "WANNA PLAY BS?"

"SURE!" Jemima said joining in on the yelling.

"WAIT. WHAT'S BS?" Ralph asked. Juice grabbed his arm.

"I'LL TEACH YOU!" Juice said smirking. Retro huffed.

"WE'LL BOTH TEACH YOU!"

Later

"I place down 2 3's-" Retro started. Ralph quickly got up and took one of his scissor pieces out.

"BULLSHIT!" Ralph screamed and sliced the cards in the middle in half…again.

"RALPH! That's the fifth deck so far!"

"Sorry. I just get into it too much…"

"What. The. Hell! I come here and find you two playing with the bad guys!" Alyssa yelled smartly jumping over the hole.

"What? You seriously didn't expect us too!? Dude check us out!" Retro said pulling Juice close to her. "We're bad guys waiting to happen." **(A/N: Ooooo foreshadowing….)**

"You guys are supposed to be helping me!"

"We are," Juice escaped Retro's grasp. "We distracted them." Retro said pointing to the twins.

"Well…"

"What?"

"Juice is actually doing all the distracting…" Retro turned around and her mouth dropped. Juice and Ralph were making out.

"DUDE! THE HELL MAN!" Retro snapped. Juice stopped and held a bag in front of her face. "What's that!? Some sort of piece offering…" She snatched the bag away and peered inside. "AHHHH! YOU GOT SUSAN ACCESSORIES!!!" She pulled out Susan and began to dress him up. "You are going to look sooo pretty in this dress!"

Fight Against Jemima

"HA! This should be simple! Your life bar is tiny!" Alyssa mocked.

"Ooo someone grew balls." Juice whispered to Retro as the two sat on the stairs.

"Yeah but you see here sweetie I can teleport and this is no automatic lock-on" Jemima said dancing around a bit.

"Oh…well this ruins my plan completely…"

"AHAHAHAHHA! SLICE AND DICE!" Jemima charged after Alyssa. Jemima already had hit Alyssa. **(A/N: I know Retro would definitely want this in here)** "I DID IT! HORRAY!"

10 Seconds Later

Game Over.

"So are we going to take over?" Juice asked as they reappeared back into the dungeon.

"I guess so…" Retro said sighing grabbing the bow from Alyssa and handing Susan to Juice.

20 Seconds Later

"I'm sooo sorry Jemima!" Retro cried as she shot the last arrow to finish her off. Soon Jemima became over dramatic and died. "You were so awesome!" Ralph held her sister and she turned into confetti. "She go boom!"

"You killed my sister…" Ralph growled.

"Yeah fuck this," Retro gave Juice the arrow and cuddled Susan. "I DID NOTHING!" Ralph got ready to attack. "Remember Juice. You're doing him and the Fat Man."

"AGAIN!?" Juice whined.

"You're the only one capable of doing it. I never tried it and never will. And Alyssa here doesn't have a fighting chance."

"True that. OW!" Juice had just gotten stabbed. Ralph chuckled. Juice whacked him with the bow. "Now lets do this the right way…"

Fight With Ralph

"I've got a present for you…" Ralph growled. Juice spazzed.

"I like presents!" juice giggled. Retro slapped her forehead as Juice got hit by his attack. "You ass!" Juice charged up and arrow and binded him.

"Ah! Let. Me. Go!"

"Let him go Juice!" Retro cried.

30 Seconds Later

"Alyssa! Alyssa! Alyssa………..Alyssa!" Ralph cried as his spun in circles on the floor.

"What!? I did nothing!" Alyssa yelled as she freed Dennis. Ralph shot up from the floor and put a sissor up to Alyssa neck. But sadly Dennis came to save the day…yay…And Ralph was also turned into confetti.

"Ready to ride?" Retro asked Juice.

"Oh totally…" Juice said.

"Ride what?" Alyssa asked. Soon she saw the twins swaying on the pendulum. But on the other side was Juice and Retro.

"This is sooo awesome!" Soon it disappeared. And the two hit the ground with a thud. "Well that was lame…" Juice cell phone began to ring. "Yo what's up Leah? Oh it's time! We're on our way!" she hung up. "Dude," she turned to Retro. "It be wedding time."

"Wooo par-tay!" Retro giggled.

"Ooo I want to go!" Alyssa piped in. The girls glared at her.

"You aren't invited!" They raced off to a portal square that transported them to Chopper's place.

"…Ass…"

**Wow…Two more chapters and that will be the end…IT'S SOOO SAD!!! :'[**


	15. Update

**So basically I'm here to tell you were the hell I am. **

"Juice! You have to get your sports banquet ticket!" Maria screamed in my face. Honestly there was no point of me going to that banquet I didn't get an award cause I'm a Junior. =[

********************

"Juice there is practice today at the City Yards at 2:15" Coach Elliott demanded. Takes up 2 hours of my day after school that could be working on my stories.

********************

"Juice we didn't win the championship, but we have States!" Coach Sousa said happily. What's the point!? I didn't play in any of the games to get to the championship so why should I play in States!?

"But Coach Junior prom is on Friday!" I complained. Yes I'm going to prom. So is Retro. I was forced to take some Freshman I don't know so my friend's cousin can be happy. "Plus don't you wanna go golfing?"

"…Oh yeah I can totally do that…"

********************

"Juice do this SAT prep packet!" Leone demanded.

"But I already took the SAT!" I whined.

"I don't care until June 6th you are going to **enjoy** doing this. KAY? Oh yeah read this book too." The Kite Runner. Ugh!

********************

"You've been coming late to my class…" Butler said glaring at me. I shrugged my shoulders. Not my fault you make Health class boring. Plus I already took Health at the beginning of the year!

********************

"Juice!" Smith called me down the hall.

"What?" I asked.

"Have you been going down to the Umana after school on Tuesdays?"

"…No…"

"WHY NOT!?"

"I have softball. Everyday till we lose something."

"Oh okay. Cause if it was something else I would tell you to screw it."

********************

"Juice. Summer softball sign-up are on Saturday at 9 in the morning." my dad said.

"Ugh! What's the point of even trying out I gonna be on Red Storm again like I have been for the past 3 years now…"

********************

**Okay to put it to you guys straight I've been busy as fuck. Softball isn't done yet. I got prom coming up tomorrow. Finals are in 3 weeks. After finals are done I'm done. Now what I'm gonna try to do is finish up Alyssa Nightmare. There are only two chapters left. After that's done we are going to work on the sequel Alyssa Worst Nightmare. Then we have to decide what else to do because Alyssa Worst Nightmare is going to be long…Maybe either Kingdom Hearts or Lazy Town. Or something new cause Juice's brain is always racking up ideas that never get finished. =]**


	16. The End?

"Juice do you know what time it is!?" Retro said happily jumping up and down. Juice looked at her confused. "Do you?" Juice shrugged her shoulders. Retro sighed. "It's time for…"

"For what?" Juice asked. Alyssa and Dennis walked into the room.

"THE FAT MAN!" Retro handed Juice what was left of the red and green arrows. Juice groaned.

"Yay…" Juice headed for the stairs. "Are you guys coming or not?" Retro rocked back and forth. Alyssa looked confused.

"Why do you have my shit?" Alyssa asked walking up to Juice with Dennis right behind her.

"Cause I'm the only one with a chance to beat the Fat Man. Cause you have no common sense and Retro knows she'll lose even though we have his pattern memorized. So do you want to ask me again why I have you shit? No. Good."

"Hey. I could beat him now that I have guns. And he has a sword. Gun+Sword=You Lose." Retro said pulling out her guns. Juice raised her eyebrow and ignored the proud statement.

"Are you ignoring me!?" Retro yelled stomping her foot. Juice, Alyssa and Dennis kept on walking. "Hello! HEY STOP WALKING AWAY FROM ME!"

"What I totally can't hear you since I'm all the way up here!" Juice yelled down from the stairs.

"When I get up there you're a dead Juicey!" Retro started up the stairs.

20 Minutes Later

Retro huffed as she made it up to the clock tower. Juice and Alyssa were in an argument. "I'm the main character! I'm the one that should defeat the main bad guy!"

"Oh please you won't stand a chance in hell. With your speed and lack of brains you wouldn't stand a chance." Juice said folding her arms.

"If I'm correct Juice that is what you lack also…" Retro said taking a breath of her inhaler. Juice glared.

"Touche-" Juice said unfolding her arms.

"WOULD YOU GUYS STOP FOOLING AROUND!" The two turned their attention to the enraged Alyssa. "I'VE DEALT WITH YOUR GUYS SHIT LONG ENOUGH! I WANT YOU GUYS OUT!"

"You see we'd gladly leave, but we don't know how. So you are just gonna have to chill for about 10 more minutes okay." Juice said as she began crawling under the gears. Alyssa's face brightened.

"Maybe even quicker if Juice can kill the Fat Man faster!" Retro added as she got on her stomach. Alyssa giggled and followed suit. After the grewling hike up the clock tower they had finally reached the top. Alyssa and Dick had started to go into a speech that Juice cannot seem to remember. Dick raised Alyssa into the air and she magically turned into her Rooder outfit and chained to the desk.

"Guys get me out!" Alyssa cried. The two looked at each other.

"Don't worry," Juice said putting her hands on her hips. Retro nodded in agreement. Alyssa struggled for freedom. Dick started to say the enchantment, while holding a dagger over head. All the other Subordinates started to appear and chant along. Dick noticed that a voice was missing.

"Where the hell is Harold!?" Dick roared.

At The Wedding

"Why the hell are we stalling?" Chopper asked his new bride to be.

"Juice and Retro aren't here and your buddies aren't here either. So chill." Leah said folding her arms. Chopper growled slightly.

"I will not-"

"I SAID CHILL!" Chopper nodded. Leah grinned at patted his head.

Back With Alyssa

"What do you mean he's getting married!?" Dick yelled spit coming from his mouth.

"I mean he's ruining his life." Ralph said as he continued to float in mid air.

"And you didn't stop him!?"

"The girl he's getting hitched to is very…" Ralph looked at his new bruises. "Persuasive…"

"We will continue on without him!" Dick continued on his chanting.

"Dude." Retro said nudging Juice in the side.

"Eh?" Juice responded. Dennis had just come up with the other clover piece.

"You forgot to mention the fact that Dick shattered Alyssa's mom. Big thing you know?" Juice slapped her forehead then shrugged it off. Alyssa had broken free and ran up and hid behind Retro. "Tis time Juice!" Juice got an arrow ready.

"HA! Do you think you can defeat me!?" Dick roared. Juice nodded. Dick pulled out his sword.

Judgment!

They showed Dick's victim count. Alyssa stood in shock. "That's a lot…" Alyssa said to herself. Soon his life bar began to fill up. It took up one bar. "That's not so bad. It's a little bit bigger than Cho-OH DEAR GOD IT'S STILL GOING!!!" Retro and Juice looked at each other.

"About the same reaction we got…" they said. Alyssa took for cover, while Retro followed.

"Juice you needs some battle music!" Retro said from underneath the top of the clock tower.

"But I usually only need battle music for when I play DBZ…"Juice said dodging one of Dick's sword swings.

"Who cares…" Retro coughed. Alyssa groaned.

"Are you going into song?" Alyssa asked worriedly. Retro nodded. "OH NO!"

"Just kidding!" Retro said grinning. Alyssa sighed in relief and lied on the floor. They heard Dick groaning. "KICK HIS ASS JUICEY!"

"I'm trying! I only got his second life bar down by half!" Juice cried.

"Start the barrage of special arrows!" Juice pulled out her first green arrow.

"I hate how you can't cycle through these things! All my red arrows are scattered!"

"Well that sucks don't it!?" Juice started to hit him with the massive amounts of green and red arrows.

1 Life Bar and a Half Later

Juice had chained him down with one arrow. He began to glow purple. Juice chuckled. "Keep doing that you moron…" Soon he was de-chained, then re-chained again. This went on for about 2 minutes before Juice was ready to shoot her last arrow. "SUCK ON THIS!" The arrow was shot and everyone froze as a well animated cut scene carried out between Alyssa and Dick. Alyssa had defeated Dick and the clock tower began to crumble beneath them.

After The Very Touching Cut Scene With Alyssa Her Mom and Dennis

Retro and Juice hung by their shirts on the clock towers hands. Retro laughed every time a minute went by were Juice would keep being lowered. "So now what?" Retro asked. Juice folded her arms.

"I just want to go home damn it!" Juice yelled. A bright light took over their bodies and they landed on the ground with a thud. They were now back in Juice's home. "Good." Everyone was still inside Juice's house.

"Well that was entertaining!" Chris said laughing at Juice's misery. Retro got up and stomped over to Sarah and began to strangle her.

"You drank my god damn FANTA!" Retro growled.

"Box…GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Juice yelled furiously at the boy sitting next to her mom.

"Juicey! Be nice to him…" her mom scolded. Juice sighed and said high to Neon and Tati. Somebody came through the door.

"OH NOW WHO IS IT!?" Juice's dad snapped. It was Rad.

"…Why is everyone in here?" Rad asked confused. Everyone shrugged.

"……EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Juice roared. Juice got slapped by Chris.

"Don't use such language. You're a lady!" Chris said putting his glasses on top of his head. Everyone laughed.

"Oh please I'm a natural born truck driver!" Juice argued.

"Girls shouldn't swear or do other fowl things!" Juice burped in his face. "STOP THAT!" Juice glomped him.

"I missed arguing with you so much!" Retro got pulled off of Sarah who was gasping for breath. Rad handed her another Fanta.

"YAY!" Retro hugged her soda. "Wait…WHERE'S SUSAN!?!?!?!"

And that is where I leave you all. Retro and Juice's adventure is over. But wait. What about the wedding? That will be in the next chapter of this story as a little special treat. Hopefully it will be up quicker. =]


	17. THE SMARTIES!

1 Year Later…

Retro and Juice walked into another week of learning as they scanned their id's. "Dude?" Retro broke the silence. Juice nodded as she searched her pants for her id. Mike stood at the laptop in a perfectly good mood. "I totally think we forgot something…"

"Yeah…" Juice started, "my damn id!" Mike with a smile typed Juice's id into the computer. Juice placed her bag on the table behind the scanners. "Gotta find it!"

"No. Something more important-"

"WHERE'S YOU'RE ID!?" Smith screamed at some freshman who was now terrified. Retro and Juice looked back in shock.

"I-I thought y-you could um…put it in f-for me…?" the boy stuttered. Mike laughed in his face.

"Are you nuts!? You're supposed to be responsible for it!" Mike snapped. The boy pointed his finger at Juice. "What about Juice? She gets special privileges…" Retro began to giggle as Juice hit her with a purple notebook. Retro looked at the notebook that held Juice's math crap in it. A light bulb went above her head.

"OH SNAP!" Retro pulled at her pigtails. "…Leah…"

"Which one?" Juice asked putting shit back in her bag. The two looked at each other.

"THE WEDDING!!" they screamed and ran for the second floor. Retro became out of breath as they reached Juice's locker. Retro fell to the floor and took a puff of her inhaler.

"I knew…" she took a deep breath and went for her bag. "I'd brought this for a reason…" Juice saw Retro holding her PS2 on her lap. Juice nodded slowly and attempted to open her locker.

"DAMN THIS THING!" Juice slammed her fists against the locker. Retro grabbed Juice's leg. "What?"

"We…need at TV…"

"Oh right…" Juice pondered for a moment. "TO CHRIS!"

One Floor Later

"Dude, we need-" Juice started as she burst into the classroom. "Dude?" Juice sighed. "Douche isn't here yet…"

"Need…to sit…" Retro huffed as she crawled into the room. "I can't…go on…" Retro held up the PS2. "You must complete…the quest…"

"Who the hell is this girl in my door way!?" Chris screamed in anger looking like a Sim who has something blocking their path. Chris looked up. "Whatever it is Juice…no."

"I didn't even ask you yet!" Juice yelled.

"It's 7 in the morning…stop yelling at me…"

"But-"

"I SAID STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"I wasn't-"

"Take yourself, your friend and your gaming device and get out of my sight!"

"Teehee. That rhymed…" Retro giggled.

"But we need-"

"What class to you have?" he asked in defeat. Juice gulped.

"Math."

"MATH! IT'S ALWAYS MATH ISN'T IT WITH YOU!"

"What?"

"No," he pointed to the hallways. "Out. NOW!" Juice sulked and shuffled over to Retro and dragged her out of the room.

"He has like male PMS or something…" Juice muttered.

Lunch

"Are you still on a hormonal rampage worse than me?" Juice asked as she entered Chris's room once again with Retro and Neon. Juice glared at the boy next to him. "……Box……"

"GAH! NO NOT STRIS!" Neon screamed shielding her eyes. Retro stared at Juice.

"What?"

"See what you have created!"

"What? At least Stris is better than Crike…" Neon squeed at the mentioning of her new favorite pairing.

"I'd ask about all these code names, but I have to ask the plot moving question…what do you want with that PS2?" Chris asked.

"Your TV. Gotta do something important I slacked off on," Juice grabbed Chris keys from his desk.

"Oh like one of my million essays you owe me!" he called out.

One TV Moving Moment And PS2 Hook Up Later

"Do I dare turn it on?" Retro asked as she leaned over her PS2.

"We came this far…" Juice whispered.

"Why are we all huddled like this?" Box asked.

"Shhh!"

"Yeah I just came up for my DVD's…" Mike said holding up his MCAS DVD's.

"You must share this moment with us…" Everyone managed to sit one of Chris's tables and watch the horror once again of Clock Tower 3.

"Hi Chris!" Sarah said happily as she dragged Rad into the room with her. "…And everyone else."

"THAT'S IT NO MORE DISTRACTIONS!" Retro snapped flicking the switch of the all mighty, lightening striking PS2. As always lightening had struck and soon sucked into the Clock Tower world…except for Sarah and Rad cause they were too late.

The Wedding

"Can we start NOW!?" Chopper asked as he removed another cob wed from the altar. Leah hit him with her flowers.

"WE MUST WAIT!" She yelled.

"Why!? We've waited long enough!" He took out one of his hatchets and pointed it at the priest. "You. Start this wedding immediately!" There was no response. "Hello?!" Leah walked up to the priest and poked his shoulder. He collapsed onto the floor, stiff.

"He's dead. Well that's-"

"WE HAVE ARRIVED!" Retro cried happily bursting the doors open. Retro was soon grabbed and pulled into someone.

"You have returned to me," Ralph said seductively.

"GAH! RAPE!" she punched him in the face.

"Dude!" Juice cried. "WTF man…"

"I'm not in the mood for touchy feely…"

"Then why are we at A WEDDING!?" Chris snapped. Soon a pair of scissors came at his neck. "Who the hell are you?!"

"I'm Jemima-"

"That's it!" Juice grabbed Retro and Chris and pulled them to the front of the two love birds. The other 3 followed. "Time to-"

"Where were you guys!?" Leah asked with her hands on her hips.

"Uh…writer's block?"

"Yeah well it doesn't matter now…"

"Why?"

"You wrote off the priest. Can't get married with out a priest." Retro coughed and stood at the altar proudly.

"Oh no…no no NO!"

"Oh yes!" Retro giggled. She pointed at the group she had arrived with. "SIT!" They did as they were told. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here…finally on this depressing rainy evening- JUICE! You can flirt with him all you want, but if you guys leave my sight, oh there will be hell to pay. Anyway, how about you both say I do for both of you shall live…well Leah anyway…" They exchanged their vows and I do and also exchanged the oh so important rings. "I totally pronounce you Pain-In-The-Ass-Level-Character and Our-First-Fan. You may now glomp him like a fan girl."

The After Party

"ANY BODY UP FOR A PINATA!?" Juice called as he held a moving Piñata. Leah walked up to her.

"I didn't order a Piñata…" She said glaring at Juice.

"It's our gift to you!"

"…Why is it moving?"

"I covered Alyssa in confetti-"

"SWEET! LET'S HANG HER UP!"

"But we can't reach the ceiling…" Juice looked around and found her man. "Sledgy! Good to see you."

"ALYSSSAAAA!!!" Sledgehammer cried taking Juice into a bone breaking hug.

"No. This is Alyssa." Juice held up the moving Piñata. "You put her up there," she pointed to the ceiling. "So we can beat her till she gives us candy!" She handed Sledgehammer Alyssa.

"ALYSSSSAAAAAA!!!!" He ran over to the spot Juice pointed at.

"Good idiot. HEY DUDE!" Juice called for Retro. "Check it out."

"OH MY GOSH! A PINATA!" Retro yelled with happiness.

"It's an Alyssa Piñata." Leah added.

"Does she give me- I mean us candy?"

"Oh indeed. Smarties…" Juice whispered.

"I'M COMING SMARTIES!" Everyone followed the screaming pigtailed girl to the center of the room. "All right first off, NO WEAPONS!" The Subordinates groaned and tossed their weapons to the floor. "You'd kill her too fast, not that it isn't our objective besides getting the candy…"

"Hey Juice…" Ralph whispered in her ear.

"Get away Ralph. I don't wanna be killed right now…"

"But she's distracted…"

"…True…"

40 Minutes Later

"Juice!" Retro called. "Where the hell is that girl?"

"Hey Retro have you seen Ralph around?" Jemima asked.

"Wait. They're both missing…"

"Yes."

"GOD DAMN IT JUICE!"

**Retro: 3 Juice: 4**

"RAAAANNNNNDDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!" Sledgehammer screamed as he charged at Retro. The impact sent her Smarties to the ground unwrapping them all.

"No! My !!!!! Ooo! There was a Hershey bar in there! Can't…reach…NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

TIS FINALLY COMPLETE!!!! WOOO!


End file.
